Dual Responsibilities: Navigating Careers and Caregiving

For many professional women, the reality of balancing a demanding career with family and caregiving responsibilities is a constant challenge. This dual role often leads to heightened stress and burnout, making it feel like an impossible juggling act. I understand this struggle all too well, as I’ve navigated these same paths in my own life.

The Juggling Act

I remember vividly the time I had to handle two sick toddlers while preparing for a high-stakes meeting. My husband was traveling overseas for his job, leaving me to manage everything on my own. One child had a fever, and the other had a stomach bug. I spent the night tending to them, trying to comfort them while knowing I had a critical presentation the next day. It was gut-wrenching for me, as I felt terrible that I was trying to soothe them as quickly as possible, and I felt bad about not giving work my all.

As dawn broke, I was exhausted but had to put on my professional facade. I dressed quickly, prepared breakfast, and got the kids settled with a babysitter before heading into the office. The entire time, my mind was split between the urgent work task at hand and the well-being of my children. It felt like I was failing on both fronts.

The Feeling of Inadequacy

My experience is far from unique. Many women feel they are never giving enough—neither to their jobs, partners, children, or themselves. I often felt I was falling short at work, missing quality time with my husband, and not being present enough for my kids. My own needs? They were always the last on the list.

This constant sense of inadequacy can be overwhelming. It leads to a cycle of guilt and exhaustion, where you’re constantly trying to catch up but never quite getting there. This isn’t sustainable and can have serious impacts on mental and physical health.

As a working mom, I know I need more than lip service to stay healthy and strong. In fact, according to a 2022 Gallup report titled Recruiting Women Takes More Than Just Competitive Pay, the most important factor when taking a new job is that it “allows for greater work-life balance and better personal wellbeing.” 66% of women say balance and wellbeing are more important than pay and job stability.

Recruiting Women Takes More Than Competitive Pay

From Work-Life Balance to Work-Life Fit

The traditional concept of work-life balance suggests a perfect equilibrium between professional and personal life. However, for many of us, this balance is elusive. Instead, I’ve found that striving for a better work-life fit is a more attainable and realistic goal.

Here are some strategies that have helped me find a better fit:

• Prioritize and Delegate: Accept that you cannot do everything. Prioritize the most important tasks and delegate when possible. This might mean hiring a nanny or a housekeeper to help with household chores, asking your partner to take on more responsibilities like grocery shopping or meal preparation, or relying on family and friends to help with childcare or eldercare.

• Set Boundaries: Be clear on your work hours and stick to them as much as possible. Let your co-workers and family know these boundaries to manage expectations.

• Make Intentional Choices: Be intentional about the activities you choose to take on. Focus on what truly matters and what aligns with your values and priorities.

• Say No: Get comfortable saying no to things that don’t align with your priorities. Turning down additional projects, social events, or commitments that add unnecessary stress is okay.

I firmly believe self-care is a necessity and not a luxury. Making time for yourself, whether it’s through a hobby, exercise, or simply relaxing, is crucial for maintaining your energy and mental health. Prioritizing self-care is a powerful way to take control of your well-being amidst the demands of your career and caregiving responsibilities. Flexible Work Arrangements: Advocate for flexible work options, such as remote work or adjusted hours, to help you better manage your responsibilities. This could mean negotiating with your employer for a work-from-home day or adjusting your work hours to accommodate school pick-ups or doctor’s appointments. These arrangements can provide more control over your schedule and reduce the stress of trying to be in two places at once.

A Better Fit Is Possible

Remember, finding a work-life fit that works for you is an ongoing process. It requires careful consideration, intentional choices, and the willingness to say no. But it is possible. It’s about creating a life where both your professional and personal responsibilities can coexist without overwhelming you. So, don’t lose hope. Keep striving for that balance that allows you to thrive both professionally and personally.

There will be days when the balance tips more towards work and days when family needs take precedence. The key is to be flexible and compassionate with yourself.

Focusing on a work-life fit rather than a perfect balance can alleviate some of the pressure and create a more sustainable and fulfilling life. It’s a journey, but one that is well worth the effort. I encourage you to start implementing these strategies in your life and see how they work for you. Remember, it’s not about being perfect but finding a fit that allows you to thrive professionally and personally.