Finding Belonging

Belonging is a powerful concept, especially for women in leadership roles who are ambitiously balancing their careers and family responsibilities. For me, belonging is about feeling accepted, valued, and connected in all aspects of life. As someone navigating these paths, I’ve discovered that fostering a sense of belonging is not just beneficial; it’s vital for personal and professional growth.

The Struggle for Belonging

For many of us, the journey to belonging can feel like a constant state of limbo. The demands of a career combined with the responsibilities of family and caregiving often create an environment where it’s easy to feel like we don’t belong to any group. The pressure to excel in both areas can lead to heightened stress and a constant battle against the feeling of inadequacy. As women, we’ve all felt a division between moms who work outside the home and those who work inside the home. The dual role of working and parenting can often feel overwhelming, leading to moments of self-doubt and questioning whether we truly belong in either space.

Creating a Culture of Belonging with Your Team

Building a culture of belonging within the workplace starts with leadership. Here are some strategies that have helped me foster a sense of belonging for myself and my teammates:

• Open Communication: Encourage open and honest conversations. Create an environment where team members feel brave enough to express their thoughts and concerns without fear of judgment. This can lead to acceptance and support for differences rather than divisiveness.
• Empathy and Understanding: Show genuine empathy towards your team member’s personal and professional challenges. Understand that each person’s journey is unique and valuable. Demonstrate their value by calling on them when you need support and acknowledging them publicly for a job well done.
• Inclusivity in Decision-Making: Involve your team in decision-making processes. Valuing their input and perspectives strengthens the team and makes each member feel integral to the organization’s success. I like to use the 10% game, which I learned from Shirzad Chamine. The idea is to acknowledge that any concept presented in a brainstorming session is at least 10% right. So, when you hear an idea that seems undoable, share what you like about it (the 10% of it), and then build on the identified positive aspect with your take. Use “Yes, and…” to add your thoughts and improve the initial idea. By highlighting the positive aspects of each contribution, participants feel valued and are more likely to continue contributing.

Finding Personal Belonging

Belonging also means feeling at peace with oneself. Here are ways to cultivate a sense of belonging within:

• Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion. Acknowledge your efforts and achievements, and be kind to yourself during challenging times. Realize that you belong in all the spaces you show up in and deserve to be there. It’s common for women to think of themselves as “less than” and to undervalue their contributions at work or in their personal lives. If you do this, start small by simply saying “thank you” when someone compliments your work.
• Personal Growth: Invest in personal growth activities that align with your passions and values. Make time for what fulfills you, whether it’s a hobby, continued education, or self-care practices. It helps quiet the noise of self-doubt. I love continuing education programs because I’m insatiable in learning, and I interact with like-minded people through coaching, women’s leadership groups, or self-care organizations. I also used to love running with my children during any family-friendly races.
• Community Engagement: Engage with communities and networks that resonate with your personal and professional goals. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who support and uplift you. Be okay calling on this group when you are feeling like an outsider. I’ve met interesting people via Meetup.com, Eventbrite, professional associations, LinkedIn groups, university and college alumni networks, and by volunteering with an organization that inspires me.

The Path Forward

I’m living in my thirteenth home and have moved all over the East Coast. Every time I moved, I didn’t have a network to join or a job to lean on for belonging. I took risks and was intentional about finding the people and environments where I felt valued and connected. It took time but was well worth the wait. For me, belonging is not about perfection but creating spaces where you can thrive authentically.

As we continue to navigate our roles, let’s prioritize creating a culture of belonging in every aspect of our lives. Doing so enhances our well-being and inspires those around us to strive for a more inclusive and supportive world.

Belonging is a journey we all deserve to embark on. What steps are you taking to foster belonging in your life and work? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.